Book Lover by Robert William Service

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Book Lover

I keep collecting books I know
I’ll never, never read;
My wife and daughter tell me so,
And yet I never head.
“Please make me,” says some wistful tome,
“A wee bit of yourself.”
And so I take my treasure home,
And tuck it in a shelf.

 

And now my very shelves complain;
They jam and over-spill.
They say: “Why don’t you ease our strain?”
“some day,” I say, “I will.”
So book by book they plead and sigh;
I pick and dip and scan;
Then put them back, distrest that I
Am such a busy man.

 

Now, there’s my Boswell and my Sterne,
my Gibbon and Defoe;
To savour Swift I’ll never learn,
Montaigne I may not know.
On Bacon I will never sup,
For Shakespeare I’ve no time;
Because I’m busy making up
These jingly bits of rhyme.

 

Chekov is caviare to me,
While Stendhal makes me snore;
Poor Proust is not my cup of tea,
And Balzac is a bore.
I have their books, I love their names,
And yet alas! they head,
With Lawrence, Joyce and Henry James,
My Roster of Unread.

 

I think it would be very well
If I commit a crime,
And get put in a prison cell
And not allowed to rhyme;
Yet given all these worthy books
According to my need,
I now caress with loving looks,
But never, never read.

Halfway There

At the start of the year I created the Judge a Books by its Cover Reading Challenge and I’ve just reached the halfway point. Below is my progress. I can’t wait to read through the second half of the list.

  1. Social Media Unfriendly :  A book with an untweetable title RC1
  2. Stuck on the Cover With You: A book with a sticker on it RC2
  3. Lois Lane, Peter Parker, and Wonder Woman Approved :  A book whose author has an alliterative name RC3
  4. Notable Quotables: A paperback with quotes instead of a blurb on the back
  5.  Unusual Suspects: A book with a X, Q, or Z in the title RC5
  6. Coming Attractions: A book with “soon to be a major motion picture” (or other similar wording) on it   RC6
  7. Name Game: A book with a character’s name in the title  RC7
  8. Picture Perfect: A book without a picture on the cover
  9. Why are There So Many Books about Rainbows: A book with more than half of the colors of the rainbow on it
  10. Hot & Cold: A book with fire or ice
  11. One is the Loneliest Title: A book with a number in the title  RC11
  12. Drinks on Me: A book with coffee, tea, water, or another type of drink on the cover
  13. A Book is a Book is a Book: A book with a book on the cover
  14. Let There be Blood: A book with blood on the cover  RC14
  15. Let Them Eat Book: A book with food on the cover
  16. !#@*&: A book with punctuation in the title  RC16
  17. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles: A book with some type of transportation
  18. Old McDonald Wrote a Book: A book with an animal on the cover    RC18
  19. Color Me Book: A book with a color in the title
  20.  Days of our Lives: A book with a daytime sky
  21.  I Love the Nightlife: A book with a nighttime sky
  22.  I Really Need Some Body: A book with a body part on the cover
  23.  Words Words Words: A book with just words on the cover    RC23
  24. Dress to Impress: A book with formal wear on the cover     RC24