I for one don’t pay much attention to Valentine’s Day, and while I have many qualms with the “holiday”, one of my biggest problems is how utterly boring and predicable it can be. Everything is flowers, chocolates, teddy bears, candles, blah, blah, blah. But as I was thinking about the boring everyday gifts people will be receiving, I couldn’t help but wonder what imaginary characters from literature would give their paramours today.
So, let’s find out what some of our favorite literary characters would give as a romantic gift.
1. Holden Caulfield from Catcher in the Rye
He hates how phony Valentine’s Day is but still tries to get you a drink from the bartender at least. Since he’s too young he winds up with nothing but the feeling that he was right to hate the phoniness in the air today.
2. Peter Pan from Peter Pan
It’s not exactly what you expected when you leaned in for a kiss, but you’ll take it.
3. Jean Valjean from Les Misérables
A loaf of bread
Don’t ask him where he got it. No you can’t exchange it because he doesn’t have the receipt.
4. Hannibal Lector from Silence of the Lambs
The cold shoulder
Yes I did just make that joke. Deal with it.
5. Daisy Buchanan from The Great Gatsby
A relaxing drive out into the country
She of course will insist on driving.
6. Bilbo Baggins from The Hobbit
Something small like a trinket or bauble
Just don’t expect him to put a ring on it.
7. Guy Montag from Fahrenheit 451
Just don’t show anyone or tell anyone where you got it.
8. Albus Dumbledore from the Harry Potter series
Admittance to Hogwart’s
Muggle or not you’re in, and isn’t education the greatest gift of all.
9. Dr. Jekyll from Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
One second you think he’s into you the next he seems like a totally different person.
10. Dante from The Inferno
A day together
It might not seem like much but he went through Hell just to be with his beloved.
11. Medusa from mythology
Sometimes the best gifts are the gifts you make yourself.
What’s your favorite literary character giving to their love today?